


Flutter

by superjekki



Category: SECHSKIES (Band)
Genre: A little romantic, Light Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, Smut, first jekki fic don't judge, handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-10
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 03:08:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27987468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superjekki/pseuds/superjekki
Summary: idk what this is. jaijin and jiwon are lonely. so they decide to be a little less lonely together.
Relationships: Eun Jiwon/Lee Jaejin, Eun Jiwon/Lee Jaijin
Comments: 5
Kudos: 16





	1. Chapter 1

Night was falling, and Jaijin was alone again. He didn’t always hate loneliness, in fact, he often welcomed it, but there was something about the stars tonight that made him wish he were with someone else, a warm shoulder pressed against his, a soft brush of hair against his cheek. Jaijin thought of the girls he’d dated or had a one night stand with in the past, but none of them were who he wanted to have by his side. At this point Jaijin didn’t even know if he wanted to be with a woman, but it was all he knew, and he was still afraid of confronting the unknown parts of himself. 

Jaijin sat on the hotel balcony, wondering if he should try and find someone to spend time with or just go to bed alone. Not many people he knew would still be up this late, except Jiwon might. If he had an early schedule the next day he might be sleeping, but otherwise he’d probably be up gaming, so Jaijin figured it was worth sending a message.

To - Jiwonie hyung  
Hey. Are you still awake?

To pass the time until Jiwon responded, he pulled up the music on his phone, searching for something to listen to. “Well, if I’m gonna see hyung, maybe I should listen to his songs, “ Jaijin mused to himself. Hitting shuffle on Jiwon’s profile, he decided to listen to whatever came up first. 

_I wanna love you tonight  
I don’t need anything, only you and me in this night  
I only need you_

Something about the song affected Jaijin, and he could feel it deep in his bones. He didn’t know if it was the lyrics, or Jiwon’s voice, or just the mood he was in, but Jaijin found himself putting the song on repeat and just listening to it over and over. He didn’t know how many times he played it, but he knew all the words by the time his phone dinged with a response from Jiwon.

From - Jiwonie hyung  
No.

“Tch, typical hyung,” Jaijin said as he unlocked the phone to respond. 

From - Jiwonie hyung  
The door’s unlocked

Unless it's better if I come to you??

To - Jiwonie hyung  
I’m already on my way.


	2. Chapter 2

Out of all the messages Jiwon was expecting to get late on a Wednesday night, a text from Jaijin was at the bottom of the list. Although Jaijin didn’t come out and say that he was lonely, Jiwon knew him well enough now that Jaijin didn’t have to say it. He wondered if Jaijin knew Jiwon was lonely, too. 

He knew everyone was waiting on him to find someone else, another girl to marry, to get that happy ending again. But Jiwon was tired. Tired of not knowing who to trust, tired of getting to know people, tired of putting in the work to understand someone. Call him lazy or childish, but Jiwon wanted something easy. He wanted something comfortable, with someone who already understood him, someone who knew him at his worst and his best, someone who still loved him and wanted to spend time with him in spite of that.

Jiwon thought of Jaijin again, and the text he had yet to answer. In a way, Jaijin fit that. Hell, there’s the proof right there, a lonely Jaijin reaching out to Jiwon of all his other options. Jiwon pinched himself, shaking his head to clear that thought out. It was madness. Just a crazy thought, he told himself. A what if.

To: Jaijin-ah  
The door’s unlocked

Unless it's better if I come to you??

A flutter of nervousness filled Jiwon’s stomach, as he debated adding a smiley face to the message before sending it. “I’ve hung out with Jaijin before, why the hell am I nervous?” he wondered aloud. “It’s late, I’m just having weird thoughts.”

The quick ding of Jaijin’s response startled Jiwon, and he tried to calm himself as he read the response. Jiwon couldn’t help but chuckle at his abrupt response, the text just so Jaijin. At least he could always count on Jaijn to be himself, to be the same Jaijin he had known for so long. ‘A small comfort in my changing life’, Jiwon thought. Although they had spent time apart, when the members reunited, Jaijin had still felt so familiar. Jiwon had to think back, and wondered if he had ever thanked Jaijin for that, for being his number two, especially once Sunghoon had gone. 

Jiwon didn’t think he did, but at the same time, he didn’t think he could ever truly thank him.


	3. Chapter 3

Jaijin felt a little shy walking up to Jiwon’s apartment door. He knew Jiwon said the door was unlocked, but he couldn’t bring himself and cross that line. It felt a little too close for comfort, but Jaijin couldn’t help but wonder why opening the door made him uncomfortable, but reaching out this late when he was feeling so alone did not. 

When he heard Jaijin knock, Jiwon couldn’t say he was surprised, and he would have been more shocked if Jaijin had just walked in. Waiting at the door, Jaijin could hear Jiwon unlocking it, and chucked as Jiwon opened the door.

“Hyung, why would you tell me the door is unlocked when it wasn’t?” Jaijin asked as he followed Jiwon inside.

“I knew you wouldn’t listen to me,” Jiwon grumbled, “so what would have been the point? It got you here, didn’t it?”

Jaijin shrugged, agreeing silently. 

After twenty plus years, neither Jiwon nor Jaijin felt the need to fill the silence, so they sat quietly with their drinks for a while. Jiwon was still processing his random thoughts about Jaijin. His gaze had fallen to Jaijin’s wrapped around his glass, the small speck of paint that didn’t quite come off, and all he could think about was when the last time he held hands with someone was, when the last time he held hands with Jaijin was, if ever, and what it would feel like to hold his hand. 

And Jaijin, he couldn’t stop thinking about Flutter. It felt like he was still listening to it, in the back of his mind. But he also was thinking about Jiwon, the way he thought Jiwon had zoned out, until he noticed Jiwon’s eyes following his glass when he lifted it for another sip. 

“Jiwonie hyung...is something on your mind?” Jaijin asked quietly.

Jiwon shook his head. “Nothing more than the usual stress, but don’t worry about me, Jaijin-ah.”

Knowing Jiwon wouldn’t talk if he didn’t want to, Jaijin changed the subject. “You know, hyung, I was listening to one of your songs before I came here, and it was really good. Flutter, I think it was called?”

A frown crossed Jiwon’s face. “I don’t think I remember that one.”

Jaijin matched his frown. “That’s a shame, it's really pretty. If you do another solo concert you should perform it. I really liked it.”

“Well, let’s listen to it then.” Jiwon pulled out his phone and played the song, trying not to obviously watch Jaijin listen. But Jiwon knew he was blatantly staring by the time Jaijin shut his eyes, quietly singing along and swaying to the music. His eyes wandered down to Jaijin’s lips, watching him mouth the words, but Jiwon forced himself to look away before he was caught.

Jaijin was just enjoying the music, but hoping his face wasn’t blushing the way he felt like blushing. It felt a little awkward, sitting alone with Jiwon, listening to a song like this, this late at night. But at the same time, he felt comfortable with it. Jiwon was the only person he’d want to be with at a time like this.

Jiwon wondered why Jaijin had listened to this song of all the possible ones, and he was cursing himself for playing it. With each line, he just thought of Jaijin, the way he sat on Jiwon’s balcony, so beautiful under the city lights. 

Beautiful. Jiwon had never used that word to describe Jaijin before, but it fit so well. Jaijin was beautiful, and he had a beautiful soul, and Jiwon couldn’t help but continue thinking about how Jaijin seemed to fit what Jiwon was missing in his life. 

“Are you sure there’s nothing on your mind?” Jaijin asked, breaking the silence that fell when the song ended. 

Jiwon shook his head.

“Then I have a question...why did you invite me over?”

Jiwon looked over at Jaijin, a little confused. “What do you mean? You were the one who texted me first.”

Jaijin made eye contact briefly, then looked away. “Yeah, hyung, but I didn’t ask to meet or anything. I just asked if you were up.” 

“That’s true. I just figured you were lonely, too, assumed that’s why you reached out.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, Jaijin processing Jiwon’s statement, and Jiwon overthinking what he had said.

After a moment, Jiwon spoke again. “Well, let me ask you something, Jaijin-ah. Why did you text me in the first place?”

Jaijin scoffed. “You already said it, hyung.” He looked over at Jiwon. “I was lonely.”


	4. Chapter 4

“I don’t want you to be lonely, Jaijin-ah. You should try and find someone.”

Jaijin took another sip of his drink. “Well, sometimes I don’t think I need to. I mean, I’ve got my sister and her children, and I have you and Sechskies. And you haven’t found anyone, hyung, and you’re older than me.”

“Ah, I think it’s a bit too late for me at this point,” Jiwon said with a dry chuckle.

“So I’ll be out of time in a year then?” Jaijin asked, a little offended.

“That’s not what I meant. I just...I don’t think I have the time to fall in love with someone brand new, build that kind of relationship. I’d rather skip all of that and get to the happily ever after.”

Jaijin nodded, reaching out a hand to touch Jiwon’s, laying palm down on the arm of the chair. “You deserve that, hyung.”

Jiwon couldn’t help the shiver that ran through him when he felt Jaijin’s skin on his. Very slowly, watching Jaijin carefully from the corner of his eye, Jiwon flipped his hand over underneath Jaijin’s, letting their palms meet before locking their fingers together. Jaijin let out a small sigh, but was too overwhelmed by the contact to do much else. Still, it was nice, feeling the warmth of Jiwon’s hand against his. But Jaijin’s mind couldn’t stop racing. If he had thought he was lonely at the beginning of the night, that was nothing compared to what this would do. Yeah, he had Jiwon’s hand in his for a moment, but soon Jiwon would let go, and who knows when he’d hold someone’s hand again. 

Although Jiwon had had plenty of skinship with the other members, including Jaijjin on occasion, it’d never quite felt like this. Even though Jaijin typically didn’t like skinship, he was still holding Jiwon’s hand, still leaning toward Jiwon. “Jaijin-ah,” Jiwon whispered, looking down at their hands, “Thank you. Thank you for...for making this night a little less lonely. You should come over more. Call me sometime, or something like that. And I still need to get you on my Youtube channel, you still haven’t been on it.” Jiwon looked at Jaijin with a serious expression. “Our channels need to collab. 

Jaijin laughed out loud at the final statement, throwing his head back, but still holding on to Jiwon’s hand. He was always grateful to Jiwon for his ability to break the tension with a joke, but he was never as grateful as he was at that moment. He had never felt so grateful to Jiwon...period. His feelings overwhelmed him, and he hoped Jiwon couldn’t tell, but he Jiwon knew him so well...how could he not tell?


	5. Chapter 5

It felt like as the night went on, the conversation grew less and less serious and simply more fun. Their hands had separated, not a conscious decision but a necessity when the two of them were laughing as hard as they were. Jiwon thought about it, and he couldn’t remember a time when he had enjoyed himself this much, being alone with Jaijin. He felt a little regretful that it had taken so long to see just how well he and Jaijin could get along as just the two of them. Jiwon didn’t want the night to end, not at all, but he was also scared of where that desire could take him. 

A loud yawn from Jaijin pulled Jiwon from his thoughts. It was nearly four o’clock in the morning, an ungodly hour. “Jaijinie…” Jiwon began, a little nervous. “Did you drive here?”

Jaijin nodded.

“Then you should just stay here tonight. No point in getting a taxi if you’ll need to come back and get your car in the morning.”

“I’m not that drunk, hyung, I can go back tonight. I don’t want to be-” 

“Nope,” Jiwon said, cutting him off. “I’m still not gonna let you drive. I’ll take your damn keys if I have to, or lock you in my bedroom. And speaking of bedrooms, you can just have mine, I know you’d rather have your privacy. I’ll sleep on the couch.”

Jaijin looked over at Jiwon. “Fine, I’ll stay, but I don’t want you to sleep on the couch. You should be in your own bed.”

Jiwon glared back at Jaijin. “Well, you’re my guest, and I’m sure as hell not making you sleep on the couch. I’ve slept on worse things than a couch.”

“So have I!”

“So you should sleep on the bed then.”

Jaijin frowned. “Doesn’t that mean you should sleep on the bed, too?”

“Yeah but you don’t like sharing, so I’ll sleep on the couch.”

“If your bed is big enough then I don’t mind sharing if that means you aren’t on the couch, hyung,” Jaijin mumbled. 

Jiwon scoffed. “Then let’s go see if it's up to your standards, Jaijin-ah.” 

After cleaning up the balcony, they headed into Jiwon’s bedroom. Although neither of them realized it, they both felt the same mixture of nervousness in their stomachs. 

Jiwon went straight to the closet, going to grab a shirt and pair of shorts for Jaijin to wear. He couldn’t lie, the thought of Jaijin wearing his clothes are more than a little thrilling to him. But God, why was Jiwon thinking about this? He shouldn’t be having these thoughts about his band member, but here he was.

While he was lost in thought, Jaijin came up behind Jiwon in the small closet. “Your bedroom looks nice, hyung. And I can just sleep in my boxers, I don’t need clothes.”

Jiwon felt his cheeks heat up, and pretended to rummage around for something. “Okay. I’ve got extra toothbrushes and stuff in the cabinet in the other bathroom if you wanna get ready in there.” He listened to Jaijin’s “okay, hyung” and waited to hear his footsteps fade. Jiwon took deep breaths as he got changed, hoping for his heart to stop fluttering by the time he got into bed with Jaijin. 

Jaijin was fighting similar feelings. As soon as he said he didn’t need clothes, he regretted it, but he regretted it a little less when he noticed the blush on Jiwon’s cheeks. Now his head was spinning, wondering what exactly Jiwon was thinking about, if Jiwon was thinking about him. Soon, they’d be sharing the same bed, under the same blankets, and Jaijin knew what happened when this situation occurred in the movies. 

When he returned to Jiwon’s bedroom, Jiwon was already in bed.. “Jaijin-ah,” Jiwon said, quickly looking at Jaijin without meeting his eyes, “Can you shut off the light?”

Jaijin just nodded, pausing to take off his shirt first, feeling Jiwon’s eyes on his torso. He stole a quick glance as Jiwon, feeling flustered under his intense gaze. When Jaijin shut off the light, Jiwon turned on the lamp on his nightstand, instantly bathing the room in a warmer glow. 

Jiwon knew he was staring, but he couldn’t stop. The light of the lamp on Jaijin’s already tan skin was mesmerizing. The smaller light source deepened the shadows across his body, making his muscles even more defined. Jaijin’s face and chest were flushed a light pink, making Jiwon’s mouth go dry. Jaijin was just staring back at him, motionless, face difficult to read.

Clearing his throat, Jiwon sat up in the bed. He realized his cheeks probably matched Jaijin’s, and he felt a rush of embarrassment for flustering Jaijin. “Ah...sorry, I zoned out there. Didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” With a slightly shaky hand, he reached across the bed and flipped over the blanket, wordlessly inviting Jaijin in.


	6. Chapter 6

In a strange way, Jaijin wasn’t as nervous as he thought he would be. For one, it was obvious that Jiwon was nervous. And it was Jiwon he was sleeping next to, and Jiwon would never do anything to hurt him. Although he could be rough and coarse, he knew Jaijin better than most people, understood him better than most people. With each step he took toward the bed, he felt more and more that this was the right decision. He felt relaxed as he slid under the covers, Jiwon’s hand brushing against his stomach when he adjusted the blanket. Jaijin couldn’t help but smile at the way Jiwon’s cheeks heated up, the way he quickly said good night and rolled over.

Jiwon couldn’t stop blushing, thinking about Jaijin, Jaijin next to him, his skin against Jiwon’s. Now that he had let himself think about Jaijin in this way, it was like a dam had burst in his brain, and all the thoughts he had suppressed came flooding out. “Hyung,” Jaijin whispered, putting a hand on Jiwon’s shoulder.

“What, Jaijin?” Jiwon asked, unable to turn around and look at him. 

“Your shoulders look so tense...you can’t sleep if you don’t relax, hyung,”   
“Jaijin-ah, you don’t need to worry about me, okay? I’ll sleep fine. Go to sleep.” Jiwon rolled over to face Jaijin, and he was surprised to see how close Jaijin was. Unconsciously, he brought up a hand to Jaijin’s jaw, gently holding his face. They were close enough that Jiwon felt Jaijin take a quick breath, shocked at Jiwon’s action. “I’ll shut your eyes myself if I have to,” Jiwon joked, brushing his thumb under Jaijin’s eye. 

They looked into each other's eyes for a moment, neither willing to make a move, but neither willing to pull away.

“Jaijin-ah,” Jiwon whispered, struggling with his words. He was all too aware of how close Jaijin was to him, aware of every inch of skin touching, aware of the way Jaijin shifted his leg closer to Jiwon’s. He was aware of Jaijin’s hand on the bed between them, like he had been reaching for Jiwon’s waist, and he was aware of Jaijin’s lips, looking soft and parted, like he was waiting for a kiss.

“Jiwonie hyung,” Jaijin whispered back, closing his eyes.

Jiwon pulled Jaijin’s face closer, first kissing him on the forehead. At Jaijin’s lack of a reaction, Jiwon found all of his courage and kissed Jaijin, gently, still half-expecting Jaijin to pull away. But Jaijin kissed him back, a little stronger, grabbing Jiwon’s side through his t-shirt. Jiwon felt butterflies in his stomach, but he also felt a deeper desire for more, more of Jaijin, more of his skin against his own.

He kissed Jaijin deeper, slightly sucking on his lower lip until Jaijin opened his mouth so Jiwon could kiss him fully. Jiwon felt Jaijin pushing on his side, so he laid on his back and pulled Jaijin on top of him. He pulled away for a moment to catch his breath and couldn’t help but look Jaijin up and down, trying to save the mental image of him on top of Jiwon. 

Once he caught his breath, it was like all of his senses came back to him. Jiwon took his hands from Jaijin’s hips and looked away. “I’m sorry, Jaijin, I...I got carried away. I should have asked or really not done it at all, probably.” 

Jaijin frowned. “Do you feel bad about kissing me or do you feel bad about not asking?”

Jiwon met Jaijin’s eyes, and he knew he couldn’t lie. “Not asking.”

Jaijin smiled, and Jiwon felt his heart melt. “Then just ask, hyung.”

Slowly, Jiwon put his hands back on Jaijin’s hips. “Can I kiss you, again, Jaijin-ah?”

Jaijin leaned in, whispering a soft “yes” against Jiwon’s lips. Jiwon closed the gap, kissing Jaijin passionately, trying to control his desires. But Jaijin matched his energy, and Jiwon couldn’t help but run his hands over Jaijin’s body, touching every inch of skin he could and pressing their bodies closer together. 

Jaijin wasn’t holding back either, running his hands up Jiwon’s shirt. He sat up, fully in Jiwon’s lap, pulling Jiwon up with him. Jiwon felt the blood rush to his cock, and he wondered if this make out session was affecting Jaijin as much as it was affecting him. Jaijin pulled away to kiss Jiwon’s neck, cheeks flushed. His hands were tugging at Jiwon’s shirt, and he mumbled, “Hyung, take it off, please, I wanna feel you, hyung.” Seeing Jaijin so needy made Jiwon even more whipped than he already was, so even though he was a little nervous, he pushed Jaijin away so he could take off his shirt. 

Jiwon wasn’t sculpted and toned like Jaijin was, and he felt a little insecure at the difference in their bodies. If Jaijin had noticed, thought, Jiwon couldn’t tell at all. His eyes were full of desire as he whispered, “Hyung, you’re so handsome.”

Jaijin ran his hands all over Jiwon’s torso, tracing his fingers over his tattoo, and every place he touched felt like it was on fire. When Jaijin’s nails scraped across his back, he couldn’t help but let out a soft moan, head filled with thoughts of Jaijin scratching his back while Jiwon fucked him hard. Jiwon wanted nothing more than to touch Jaijin, make him feel good, make him moan Jiwon’s name. His thumb brushed over Jaijin’s abs as he whispered, “Can I touch you more, Jaijin-ah?”

“Please, hyung” Jaijin moaned out, rolling his hips down to Jiwon’s. Jiwon’s cock was completely hard at this point and he knew Jaijin could feel it, but he didn’t care anymore since he could tell Jaijin was just as turned on as he was. He could see the outline of Jaijin’s dick through his boxers, and Jiwon couldn’t stop thinking about it. With one hand in Jaijin’s hair, he pulled him in for a kiss, and squeezed his cock with the other. The moan Jaijin let out against his lips was music to his ears. Jiwon didn’t know how he had gone so long without hearing Jaijin’s moans, but he was addicted to the sound. 

After palming Jaijin’s cock through his boxers for a few more moments, Jiwon spat on his hand and reached under his boxers to jerk Jaijin off fully. When Jaijin bit his lip to hold back his moans, Jiwon growled, “Let me hear you, Jaijin-ah.” Jiwon’s dick was pressed against Jaijin’s ass and he had never felt more turned on in his life. Jaijin was already a wreck from Jiwon’s hand, and Jiwon wanted nothing more than to make Jaijin cum all over his hand. 

“Jaijin-ah,” Jiwon moaned out, “Jaijin-ah, are you close?” He whined in response, unable to speak from the feeling of Jiwon’s skilled hand on his dick. With a few more strokes, and Jiwon’s thumb rubbing his head, Jaijin was cumming hard. Jiwon felt overwhelmed, trying to process these new experiences and memorize the way Jaijin looked when he came, but he had the presence of mind to grab a tissue and wipe off Jaijin’s cum while he caught his breath. He kissed Jaijin’s forehead softly, trying to calm down his own heart and ignore his throbbing erection. 

Once he caught his breath, Jaijin shifted on Jiwon’s lap, saying, “Don’t worry hyung, I didn’t forget about you.” Jiwon threw his head back at the feeling of Jaijin’s hand on his cock, even through his sweatpants. He groaned when Jaijin pulled his dick out of his pants, the feeling of his warm hand a much needed relief. Jaijin’s quick strokes and the way he was sucking on Jiwon’s neck sent him over the edge a few minutes later. The way Jaijin licked Jiwon’s cum off of his own hand almost had Jiwon ready for a second round, and he had to look away to keep from moaning at the sight. For a few moments they just sat there, Jaijin still on Jiwon’s lap, both of them looking away from each other. The only sound was their heavy breathing until Jiwon spoke up. 

“We really should go to bed...but we really need to talk about that.”

Jaijin went to move off of Jiwon’s lap, voice shaking a little when he said. “We can just forget it happened, hyung, it's fine.”

Jiwon grabbed Jaijin’s leg, stopping him. “Obviously it's not, Jaijin-ah. And forgetting about it...that’s not what I wanna do.”

“Then what do you want, hyung?”

“I want to see if we can make it work,” Jiwon whispered, looking into Jaijn’s eyes. “After our conversations tonight, and whatever just happened, I think we should try. It’d be stupid if we didn’t.” 

Jaijin nodded, a small smile on his face. “That’s what I want, too, hyung.” 

Jiwon smiled back and kissed Jaijin softly. “It’s settled, then.”


End file.
